ISSI is conducting a study of mixed orientation marriages, which are defined as a marriage where one individual experiences same sex attraction and the other does not. The purpose of the study is to understand the characteristics of these marriages and the experiences of individuals in them. Participants can be currently in a mixed orientation marriage or have been previously. If you or someone you know fits this description and would like to share your experience, participants are needed! The survey can be accessed online by going to www.mixedorientationstudy.com. The study is completely anonymous and confidential; however, participants are given the option of sharing limited identifying information to participate in future follow-up studies if desired.

As parents, how do you respond when you discover that your son or daughter experiences same-sex attraction? Perhaps you fear a more pointed exchange if your son or daughter states that he or she has accepted a lesbian, gay, or bisexual (LGB) identity. Most parents are not prepared for such an announcement, or for the flood of emotions that correspond with it. There are no easy answers as to how parents should respond, but there are some general principles that can help you navigate this difficult process:

• Listen - The place to begin is to listen to your son or daughter. Hear them as they tell their stories and express their struggles and fears. As you listen, attempt to understand rather than debate. Regardless of whether or not you agree with their choices, at this point, it is important that your child feel heard. Provide your child with reassurances of your love and follow-up with actions that support what you have verbally communicated.

• Be Honest - Be honest about what you find particularly challenging about the discovery. Most people, including your son or daughter, understand that this is a difficult topic, and honesty about the difficulty itself is a reasonable starting point. Avoid, however, debates about homosexuality at this time. Realize that debates create distance. Instead continue to work toward understanding. You can certainly share your perspective, and demonstrate a willingness on your part to read various materials. Perhaps both you and your son or daughter can agree to go through various readings.

• Educate Yourself - There are many resources available that address same-sex attraction, homosexual orientation, and gay identity. Take advantage of the articles, books, websites, etc. that are dedicated to these areas. Also seek out support groups so that you can talk to other parents who are addressing the same concerns. Finding out about the resources that are available and educating yourself will assist you in understanding your child’s struggles.

The Chicago Area Christian Training Consortium (CACTC) will host Mark Yarhouse for a training this June. The training will be on “Sexual Identity and Family Therapy,” with an overview of foundational issues, such as prevalence, etiology, and mental health correlates relavent to providing services to sexual minorities. The training will also focus on sexual identity development in adolescence and common presenting concerns for families and couples. 

For families, common presenting concerns include family response/parental support, which has been shown to be important to the wellbeing of adolescents and often must be balanced against respect for the beliefs and values of family members.  Other issues include shame and self-stigma for the teen, as well as managing parental polarization that often occurs in the marital dyad. 

The training will also cover issues that arise when working with mixed orientation couples. Mixed orientation couples are couples in which one partner is a heterosexual and one partner is a sexual minority. Common concerns include disclosure/discovery of same-sex attractions, emotional reactions, such as disappointment, shock, confusion, and anger, building trust (including issues with transparency and vulnerability), and emotional intimacy/sexual intimacy.  

For more information on the June 24th training at the CACTC, please contact ISSI at issi(at)regent(dot)edu.

The Marin Foundation is conducting the largest study of the religious/spiritual experiences of members of the gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender (GLBT) community. The project is called Religious Acculturation Within the GLBT Community. Those who are interested in participating in the study can access it here.

In our culture today, “coming out” (short for “coming out of the closet”) means telling another person that you are gay. Coming out is treated as synonymous with informing another of your gay identity. What we have found more helpful in our work with families and with sexual minority youth is to talk about coming out as sharing with others the fact that you experience same-sex attraction.

Talking to others about your experiences of same-sex attraction essentially takes the three-tier distinction between same-sex attraction, a homosexual orientation, and a gay identity, and focuses more on the descriptive aspect of attraction and informing others that this is your experience. This seems to be particularly helpful with adolescents who experience sexual identity confusion or who have sexual identity questions, as they are sorting out their sexual identity in light of their experiences of same-sex attraction. The emphasis is then placed on being able to share with their parents that they experience same-sex attraction and are wanting to bring their parents into greater awareness of what is happening in their lives.

Contrast this with the teen who says to his parents, “I am gay.” To parents this often comes across as not merely descriptive but as more of a pronouncement or declaration, and often it can be, precisely because sexual minority youth are often quite invisible, sorting out their own sexual identity in isolation, feeling unable to share with their parents or others for fear of judgment or expressed disappointment. But this fear that leads to shame and further isolation can give way to a pendulum swing to the far side of identity declaration that seems rather extreme to the uninitiated parent.

From a family systems perspective, declarations can seem to lead to more emotionally charged exchanges among family members who quickly become entrenched in their positions. As most people who work with families know, there is then a need to move people out of polarized “positions” and into real relationships with one another, something that can be particularly challenging to do when most if not all family members become emotionally entrenched.

The National Day of Silence is scheduled for April 17, 2009. This is a day intended to draw attention to the issue of bullying and harassment of sexual minorities in the schools. Most supporters will be silent on that day; others who cannot be silent because of various mandatory activities will apparently wear red.

If the DOS is controversial, so too is a response endorsed by a number of conservative organizations: the ‘Day of Silence Walk Out.’  This is the idea that students walk out on this day in protest.

Another approach to this topic was launched last year. It is referred to as the Golden Rule Pledge. You can read more about this alternative, as it focuses on treating others as you would want to be treated.

At ISSI we can appreciate the concern to respond appropriately to the DOS. Do Christians support it? Do they see it as a political agenda? We can also appreciate attempts to respond constructively to the underlying issue of harassment and bullying, which we have been witness to in our work with youth.

The approach to sexual identity concerns at ISSI is referred to as the ‘Coming Alongside Campaign.’ It was not developed with reference to the DOS or any other event or stand; rather, it was suggested as a way to show a willingness to walk with persons of faith who are sorting out sexual identity questions or concerns.

A graduate student has reportedly been dismissed from a counseling program at Eastern Michigan University for not agreeing to go through a program to “remediate” her conventionally religious beliefs and values regarding same-sex behavior. Onenewsnow is reporting that Julea Ward had a value conflict with a client’s same-sex behavior, and that she did not believe she should affirm it. Her supervisor had her make a referral to another counselor who did not have the same value conflict, and Ward did so. Ward was then required to participate in a program that would address/remediate her Christian belief system. When she refused, she was dismissed from the counseling program. The Alliance Defense Fund (ADF) has apparently filed suit.

Several questions arise from this case. One question is, When are referrals appropriate? One of the more common reasons for making a referral is when a counselor does not feel he or she is competent to provide services. Competence is determined by education, training, and supervised clinical experience, and mental health professionals are required to practice within the scope of their competence. So a referral is considered appropriate when a counselor who has no training in working with older adults, for example, refers an elderly client to someone who has that competence. But competence is not the only reason for referrals.

Are value conflicts a legitimate reason to consider a referral? Let’s back up a moment and ask this: How are value conflicts generally handled in counseling? Counseling ethics textbooks recognize that value conflicts are inevitable in mental health practice. A politically liberal counselor will meet with a client with strong conservative views; a gay counselor will meet with an Evangelical Christian client; a Catholic counselor will meet with a woman deciding on abortion; an atheist will meet with a devout Muslim. The question is, At what point does a counselor make a referral when a value conflict arises? The major mental health organization’s ethics codes each tend to stress respect for differences - these are often identified as differences due to age, gender, sexual orientation, religion, socioeconomic status, and so on. Showing respect for these differences can mean different things in counseling, but it at least means being aware of how these factors impact the client and their presenting concern. It often also mean taking these factors into consideration in assessment, case conceptualization, and treatment planning.

Generally speaking, ethics textbooks tend to look at whether a value conflict between a counselor and a client is significant enough to have a negative impact on their work together. If so, a referral is thought to be appropriate. According to the complaint filed by the ADF, the professor who chaired the hearing on Ward actually taught a course in which a textbook was assigned that indicates the appropriateness of making a referral when value conflicts arise - specifically citing the instance of value conflicts regarding homosexual behavior.

It will be interesting to watch this case, as it has significant implications for how counselors and other mental health professionals are to work with clients when value conflicts arise. As it stands, it certainly runs contrary to how ethics has been discussed in textbooks and practiced in the field.

Dr. Mark Yarhouse, Director of the Institute for the Study of Sexual Identity (ISSI) conducted a 3-hour post-conference on Sexual Identity Therapy at the Christian Association for Psychological Studies (CAPS) National Conference in Orlando, Florida. The session focused on recent developments in various mental health organizations on sexual minority issues, ethical considerations for the Christian mental health professional, recent findings from research/theory on sexual identity, its development and synthesis, and the practical applications for clinicians.

In particular, the clinical applications were organized around Sexual Identity Therapy (SIT), a client-directed approach that is also identity-focused. This was especially interesting in light of the conference theme: Hope & Healing. Indeed, when it comes to discussions of homosexuality, many in the church limit the discussion of hope and healing to change of sexual orientation. While this is one possible outcome for some people, it does not appear to be as likely an outcome for most people, and this suggests that other models may also be important additions to what is offered when people are sorting out the issues associated with sexual identity concerns. SIT, then, focuses more on identity, its development and synthesis, and helping people live in a way that is consistent with their beliefs and values regarding sexual behavior and identity. It can be especially helpful to conventionally religious clients whose values are such that they wish to organize their identity around other aspects of their experience (rather than their sexual attractions). To return to the theme of Hope & Healing, in the SIT approach, Dr. Yarhouse has often spoken of realistic biblical hope, an understanding that there is much to be gained by thinking about stewardship of one’s sexuality, including one’s sexual identity. This is a relevant concept for all Christians, and it is one that extends beyond a discussion of sexuality and sexual identity.

The Marin Foundation is conducting the largest study of the religious/spiritual experiences of members of the GLBT community. The project is called Religious Acculturation Within the GLBT Community. Those who are interested in participating in the study can access it here. The Marin Foundation provides this information on the Religious Acculturation study:

Using the GLBT Sexual and Spiritual Acculturation Scale © (Marin-Riahi-Kwak, 2003), The Marin Foundation is facilitating the largest national research study ever done within the GLBT community regarding religion. This is a 3 year study that will be concluding later 2008. The Marin Foundation is on pace to have achieved a goal of N = 2,000 national participants from the GLBT community, setting the standard for religious research within the GLBT community.

To date, it appears that little or no research has been done that looks specifically at the GLBT community’s religious and social acculturation levels and how those affect ones psychosocial thought processes regarding religious beliefs and practices.

For the purposes of this study, acculturation is being defined as a cultural modification of an individual, group, or people by adapting to or merging with another culture. In other words, acculturation is how accustomed or comfortable an individual, group, or people are to a specific variable(s).

Six important variables that address this main concern and are significant in The Marin Foundation’s study are:

1. Acculturation levels the GLBT participants have toward their own broader GLBT Community

2. Acculturation levels the GLBT participants have toward spirituality and religion

3. Religious backgrounds of the GLBT participants and their families

4. Why or why not the GLBT individual is actively participating in religious functions

5. Demographics, including whether the participant is “out”, for how long, to who, age, ethnicity, current residing city and birthplace

6. Degree of sexual orientation as defined by the Kinsey Sexual Orientation Scale.

This study is extremely important as it will be used as a base for future studies and the continuing knowledge into an untapped and vital resource for both the religious and GLBT communities in learning how to best build a bridge and also level the current disconnect. The Marin Foundation intends to continue to disseminate these important results and data to the mainstream population through journal articles, books and media appearances in order to continue to level the current disconnect that exists. To find out more information on The Marin Foundation’s current research study, please email us at research@themarinfoundation.org.

Trinity University just hosted Dr. Mark Yarhouse for the 2009 Trinity Counseling Conference. The conference was a day long (9am-4pm) training covering four major areas: (1) research foundations, (2) professional and ethical issues, (3) sexual identity theory, and (4) addressing sexual identity in therapy.

The first session addressed the main four areas of research covered in Homosexuality: The Use of Scientific Research in the Church’s Moral Debate. That is, Dr. Yarhouse reviewed current findings on prevelance estimates, etiology of sexual orientation, mental health correlates (and recent developments in applying a minority stress model to sexual identity), and the debate on whether orientation can change, including a discussion of how to best understand the Ex-Gays? study.

The second session focused on some of the professional issues and ethical concerns for Christian counselors who address sexual identity concerns in clinical practice. We discussed different approaches to responding to distress about sexual orientation in therapy, the debates about change approaches, and emerging alternatives to providing clinical services. The discussion on emerging approaches included material on recently proposed client-centered approaches, including the approach discussed in the Sexual Identity Therapy Framework.

The third section covered emerging trends in sexual identity theory and research, including findings on milestone events in sexual identity development. Several studies conducted through ISSI were covered, including the study of the Council for Christian Colleges and Universities (CCCU) study of 104 sexual minorities at three Christian colleges.  

The final session focused on how sexual identity might be addressed in clinical practice. Dr. Yarhouse covered his approach to providing services through the SIT Framework, including his emphasis on (1) the three-tier distinction between same-sex attraction, homosexual orientation, and gay identity, (2) weighted aspects of sexual identity, (3) joining clients on an attributional search for identity, (4) facilitating personal congruence.

Dr. Yarhouse’s next training on sexual identity in counseling will be at Reformed Theological Seminary in Jackson, Mississippi. The conference is scheduled for March 27-28, 2009. He will then conduct a 3-hour post-conference training at the Christian Association for Psychological Studies (CAPS) national conference in Orlando, Florida, April 4, 2009.